Trombonist Jokes Q. How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist’s car? A. Take the Domino’s Pizza sign off the roof. Q. How can you tell which kid on a playground is the child of a trombonist? A. He doesn’t know how to use the slide, and he can’t swing. Q. What is the […]
Conductor Jokes A musician calls the symphony office to talk to the conductor. “I’m sorry,he’s dead,” comes the reply. The musician calls back 10 times, always getting the same reply from the receptionist. At last she asks him why he keeps calling. “I just like to hear you say it.” What’s the difference between an […]
Drummer Jokes Q: If a dollar bill was laying in the center of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money? A: The drummer with bad time since the other three don’t exist. […]
More Bass Player Jokes ~ The Temptation of Jaco-Mo~ (How the Bass player became Perpetually Bored.) And it came to pass in the Very Loud Big Band a disgruntlement upon the bassist, Jaco-Mo, which he could no longer abide.” I am first to arrive, last to leave and yet receive no more shekels than the […]
Bass Player Jokes Q. Why do bands have bass players? A. To translate for the drummer. Q. A drummer and a bass player both fall off a building, who hits the ground first? A. Who cares? Q. Whats the best thing to play on a stand up bass? A. Solitaire. How do […]
Banjo Jokes Q: What’s the difference between a banjo and an onion? A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo. Q. What’s the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? A. The chain saw has greater dynamic range. Q. What’s the least-used sentence in the English language? A. “Isn’t that the […]
20 Great Lies of The Music Business When Someone Says: What They Really Mean is: It’s a definite booking. I haven’t spoken to anyone at the venue yet. You’ll be the headliner. We’ve booked two other bands as well in case you don’t show up Your check’s in the mail. I hope someone pays […]
More Bagpipes Jokes How do you make a set of bagpipes sound beautiful? Sell them and buy a saxophone. What’s the difference between bagpipes and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline. What’s the best thing to play the bagpipes with? A razor blade. How can you end up with […]
Bagpipes Jokes What is the difference between bagpipes players and terrorists? Terrorists have sympathizers. How long does it take to tune the bagpipes? Nobody knows. Why do bagpipe players walk while they play? To get away from the noise. What’s the difference between the Highland bagpipes and the Edinburgh bagpipes? The Highland bagpipes burn hotter; […]
Musician Jokes Two musicians are walking down a path. Suddenly they notice the Grim Reaper walking behind them. The Reaper informs them that they had an accident and they both died. But, before he takes them off into eternity, he grants each musician one last request to remind them of their past life on earth. […]